I haven't seen Jon but once since October thanks to cars and my back degenerating more. The meds I'm on make some of my reaction times get just too problematic. And they make me forget things, like directions, time, stop lights. People who read my postings on the support group say I should publish, not realizing how hard it is to organize a bunch of online postings into a book. One guy has offered to edit and convert into pdf and that's tempting. I could have a web site dedicated to my musings and funny stories about my critters. But, still, I would have to be able to find and copy my writings into a common place. Not sure I can handle that.

Tuesday I got a speeding ticket. The car has electrical problems, like suddenly stopping at a corner. I was trying to see the fading instruments and go as fast as the tailgaters behind me when a trooper turned on his lights and pulled me over. I'm hoping to convince a judge with the receipt from the mechanic that it was an accident and I will never do it again. It was an accident and what with Jon in his state from a car accident, you KNOW I am careful about driving. But they may not care, it means money for the town, less money for my meds.

Mom and dad are filing bankruptcy because the bank was not auto-paying their rent for several months and now they owe many thousands of dollars. Phone scammers also did their bit to destroy the old folks. They were getting 15 magazines. Mom can't read because of her memory problems... she has none.. and dad is blind. They thought that the mags and the gold coins in the mail were free. Dad apparently gave out his credit card number to some nice guy on the phone. Probably got mom to read it to him and mom promptly forgot it so nobody told my sister what had happened. It was a mystery to them.

There's a line in the "Highlander" movie where the bad guy says "It's better to burn out than to fade away..." Stupid immortal. You don't have a two pronged choice. Sometimes it goes in leaps and bounds, sometimes there are grey areas, like Jon in his wheelchair. Is he gone or not? Did the accident take him out and leave a new Jon with no voice? Not much different than dad except dad can talk, like tell some asshole what his credit card number is. And then there's me. I'm not fading away. It's more like a sword fight in which the one guy gets nicked repeatedly. Or that guy in "Little Big Man" where the gent loses an eye, a hand, a leg....But like my totem animal, the badger, I just dig in and get madder and fight harder. Ya know, if they think they can take me out just be taking all my parts away, they are sadly mistaken! Like the Black Knight in Monty Python's "Holy Grail" I will bite their legs and spit in their eyes.

The Pieta always shows Mariam holding young Joshua bin Joseph after he dies on the cross. I'd like to see a sculpture of young Christ being held by his ankles and spanked after emerging from Mariam's womb. Don't know what you'd call it but think of the effect on Christianity. S&M folks would have a new acceptance and wouldn't that be good. Or maybe a painting of young Joshua badgering one of the old rabbi's at the temple. They'd be explaing things to him and he's standing there saying "You old fart, things are different now!" Think about a New Testament with JC preaching "Up the Liberation, down with the old ways!" or "Eat your oatmeal, God wnats you to be healthy!" "Beware the military industrial complex!" Things would be diferent now.

I'm carving walking sticks for my goddess-children to encourage them to walk in the woods. I'm thinking about carving power runes on them so at some point they will be able to change weather patterns or dismiss some mugger. I think there aren't enough magical items fully charged just laying around for some Harry Potter to find. I always wanted one growing up and now that I have a good idea how to create them, I figger maybe I'll make a few and leave them about the planet. In the 60's there was an upsurge in interest in magick and maybe now we need those middle aged magicians to get off their asses and do something. Take their lights from beneath their baskets. Forget levitating the Pentagon, heal the rich of their disease of money worshipping.

Well, time to check the hens and see what is going on in the yard. Tomorrow there should be about a foot of new snow out there. She may be close to waking up, but for the most part She is still sleeping, happy in her warm bed, waiting for the sun to do it's thing. I think I would like to sleep for a few weeks, but who would gather the eggs and who would teach old Red to pronounce "water" when the supply runs low?